from the songs album Running With Scissors
Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named al
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every single night he had a strange recurring dream
Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of sour cream
But that's really not important to the story
Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
With a spatula tatooed on her arm (on her arm)
But he didn't keep in touch
And he lost her number
Then he got himself a job on a tator tot farm
And he spent his life-savings on a split-level cave
Twenty miles below the surface of the earth (of the earth)
And he really makes a might fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich
For what it's worth
Then one day al was in the forest trying to get a tan
When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man
He was caught in a beart trap and al set him free
And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be
And it turns out he's a big-shot producer on tv
So he gives al a contract and whaddya know
Now he's got his very own weird al show
(much unintelligeable talking and yelling)
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